10 self-care tips for new mamas
I’ve been thinking back to those magical, long, sometimes overwhelming days of being a new mama. That delicious wee baby, who becomes the centre of our universe, and rightly so. But it’s vital to recognise, as new mamas, that self-care must be a priority in this season. Here’s a collection of thoughts, put together for you, if you are currently in the newborn haze. It’s not exhaustive and I would love to hear other self-care ideas you have as a new mama or a mama who’s been there.
1. Sleep as much as you can
When baby goes down, take a much-needed nap. Honestly, the housework is going nowhere. You’ll feel so much better if you get some rest. One of my favourite suggestions to new mamas is to plan to spend a whole day in bed with your baby, doing nothing but sleeping and feeding and the other essentials. If you have someone home with you to bring you your food and drink, even better. Go on. I dare you.
2. Set yourself up well for the long nights
Fill a basket with everything you might need for those night feeds – nappies, wipes, change of clothes, muslin cloth for spills – and we love this one, a thermos filled with milo, warm and ready to go with no noise or fuss. Create a space close to baby’s bed with low lighting, a comfy chair, blanket and pillows to feed baby comfortably.
3. Find your tribe and connect well
There is nothing better than real, authentic friendship and sharing the ups and downs of this new journey you are on. Part of this connection might include sharing your story and listening as others share their stories. Our stories are powerful and sharing them allows us to process our experiences and feel deeper connection to one another. The truth is we desperately need each other. Meaningful connection is vital to well-being as a mama. Antenatal groups, community playgroups, online mummy groups, parenting courses, postnatal Pilates (hello!), fitness groups - even podcasts. Finding your tribe is about finding a place to belong to, and people to connect with.
4. Move your body
There is so much good to be gained from moving. Your physical and mental health will reap the benefits. Get down on the floor and do a few stretches. Do a Pilates video on YouTube. Pop baby in the buggy and get outside for a walk and fresh air. You will feel so much better for it. If you can combine your walk with connecting with friends for a stroll and finishing it off with coffee together, even better.
5. Nourish yourself
This is the area I personally found the hardest as a new mama. Preparing good meals takes planning and organisation. You might like to check out the healthy food guidelines that will be posted here in the coming weeks. It’s about taking complexity out of meal preparation, and aiming to eat real, whole food with minimal sugar and processing. I recommend planning meals for the week ahead at a time when stress levels and fatigue is low. Possibly earlier on in the day so dinner time pressure isn’t breathing down your neck. You could prepare and freeze meals in advance, or perhaps take advantage of meal delivery services that are in abundance these days. Even better, if friends or family offer to bring you a meal, say yes!
6. Take some time out just for you
Take a long hot shower, run a bubble bath, find something creative to do that you love, journal, meditate, read a book, leave baby with your partner for an hour and go and sit at the beach and breathe. It’s okay, healthy and necessary to do things that re-fill your cup. Don’t feel guilty about it. This is important work – looking after you! And while we are talking specifically about YOU, be kind to yourself. Your body has just done an amazing thing. You grew a human - from scratch! Those stretch marks, that loose skin and soft belly are reminders of your baby’s first home. You are beautiful, you are enough.
7. Let go of comparison
Every mama, every baby, every family, is unique. Trust me when I say - if it looks like someone else is killing it in the mother department, they will most likely have their own struggles and insecurities behind closed doors. Don’t compare your real life, to what you see from someone else’s highlight reel. You do you. Comparison will steal your joy. If this is something you struggle with you might like to start a gratitude journal. Each day, take 5 minutes to quietly sit and reflect on what you are grateful for today. Even if it just one thing. Write that stuff down! When you practice focusing on what is good and what you are grateful for, you quiet that joy stealing voice of comparison.
8. Listen to your inner voice
One of the amazing things we have when we become mamas is an inner voice or an inbuilt intuition. Learn to tune in and trust it. It will serve you well. I had to learn this quickly when my first baby was a newborn. She was not even a week old and i was stressing about whether i should let her cry it out or not because I had read some STUPID book that told me I would spoil her if I responded to her cry. I was trusting what the book told me, instead of my own inner voice. It was my own Dad who said to me - “Vania, If you want to pick her up, pick her up!” Thank goodness that he empowered me that day to trust my intuition. I can’t believe it now, that i wasn’t trusting myself to know when it was okay to soothe my own baby!
9. Don’t be afraid to ask for help
When you feel overwhelmed and that you can’t cope, the strongest thing you can do, is to reach out and let someone know you need help. I remember being in a dark period after the birth of my second baby. There was a lot I was dealing with in my life at that time, as well as adjusting to life as a mama to a newborn and a toddler. It was a tough time and I felt like I was drowning in it. Things didn’t start to get better until I realised I needed help and reached out for it. We aren’t meant to do this alone. You could talk to a friend you trust, your partner, midwife, doctor, plunket nurse. That old saying that it takes a village is so true.
10. Focus on what’s important
Let your partner actively be involved in caring for your baby with you. They might not do it “right” or just like you do it, but they are learning too, and learning together is part of the adventure. Also, re-evaluate your expectations in this season, especially when it comes to housework. I know an immaculate house feels amazing, but this season of life might need a shuffling of priorities. Downtime might be better spent connecting or resting. Just figure out what is important and focus on that. It seems never-ending, but you will look back and wonder where the time went. If in doubt refer back to number 6. on the list.
So there you have it, a quick fire list of self-care thoughts for new mamas. I’d love to hear which resonates with you, and any others you’d add on.
Sending all the love to the new mamas
