I was training with my friends a couple of months ago - pre-lockdown of course - and at the end of the session we decided to do the post sweat session thing and snapped a picture of us all. I laughed out loud when I saw the picture of the four of us. Their three heads in a nice neat line and then mine towering head and shoulders above.

It reminded me of another photo, which was snapped when I was about 10yrs old, in my last year of primary at our school camp. Here I am, alongside 3 of my best friends at the time, Hannah, Lee and Karen. I’m head and shoulders above them, just like in the pic taken earlier this year.

I have literally ALWAYS stood out. I haven’t necessarily liked it. There are many times through my life where my height has made me feel awkward and out of place - like I don’t fit in or quite belong. I hate standing out and feeling peoples eyes on me. I just want to blend in and feel like I belong.

So when attention is drawn towards me, my natural response is to deflect it. There’s this voice in my head that tells me I’m not good enough, that I’m awkward and inadequate and that if I let my light shine I will be stepping into dangerous territory - because it’s inevitable that i will be seen.

I bet that there’s a few of you who relate to this. For whatever reason, you hide away too. You’ve let your light be hidden because you’re scared about what will happen if YOU are seen.

➕ will they laugh at you?

➕ will they judge you and decide you aren’t good enough?

➕ will you be rejected?

Usually there’s an element of truth in our fears because “something happened” at some time and we don’t ever want to feel again like we did in that moment. But when we stay locked up in our fears, we miss out on amazing opportunities to grow. There has to come a time when we are faced with some questions.

✨ Is the risk of allowing ourselves to be seen, worth it?

✨ Is the pain of staying the same, greater than the pain of change?

So, how do we move forward? How do we break down the layers of self-protection we’ve wrapped around ourselves and get brave enough to face the fear head on? How do we change the way we think - (our mindset) - so that we have a fighting chance to realise the goals and dreams we have for ourselves?

Honestly? It can take a bit of heart-mind work to unravel ourselves and figure it out. Sometimes we need someone holding space for us as we go through the process. That’s essentially what coaching is about. Holding space for you, giving you the tools that you need, but respecting that you are the one who knows yourself best as you look forward to the future. As you figure out what’s going on in the background of your heart and mind, you have an opportunity to heal, to change your mindset, and move forward towards transformation.

It was going through that process myself, having someone else hold space for me, that I had the opportunity to get insight into my fear of standing out. Once i connected my dots, I had to address my mindset and replace the old way of thinking with a new way.

For me, a big part of that process is my faith and trusting the divine voice who tells me I am unique and wonderful, that I am known and seen, that despite of myself I am loved. When I allow my self-worth to be shaped by that voice, I can rest knowing that I am worthy and valuable.

Whose voice is it that you need to pay attention to?

What affirmations are significant to you in changing your mindset?

As for me and my height? I worry less these days… Fact is, I’m tall! That, is true.

As for standing out? My brave is increasing. I’m letting my light shine more. I’m feeling the fear, having courage and showing up anyway. Deep down, I have a gut knowledge of my worth and value and it’s my hope that you know yours too.

I want to see you empowered to face your fears. I want you to know you are amazing and worthy of everything you dream of.

I’ll close out with a quote from Brene Brown. She sums it up beautifully in one sentence…